The Importance in Knowing Who You Are

Image fron "The Last Samurai"

Tomodachi,

I believe that we, as a species, have grown way too fast in technology.  I believe that many, if not most of us are lost in all this technology and rapid growth.  I know I was, until I figured out who and what I am.  It was very difficult and confusing.  I can do so many things, but I eventually realized it is par for the course for someone like us:  I have the ADHD too.  <big grin>  But I’m more of the ADD than HD.  I also believe the ADD is a gift, not a problem or a diagnosis.  I had a friend at my last job that approached me a few years ago who said that she was diagnosed with Adult ADD.  Her physician prescribed a medication for her.  She claimed that she is feeling much better now.  I was silently enraged.

I had to go back to the past about 300 years to really discover who and what I am.  I had to get rid of all the technology and go back to nature, so-to-speak.  I had to look deep within myself to see just what my raw talents are:  the things that I do well, and the things that bring me the most joy and happiness to myself, and others in my life.  Given my raw talents, I believe I would have been a eunuch-warrior, a blacksmith to fabricate my own weapons, and an instructor to help out the community and my fellow warriors.

I have also watched just a few people in my life time that I have heard described as “working within their own”, or doing the thing that nature designed and constructed their body and mind to do.  People who are labeled as a “natural” at what they do, or people who describe a job or function they do as coming to them naturally; these are people that are working in their  own.  This is how I feel when I was welding.  This is how I feel when I am in the dojo.  In fact one of the happiest times of my life was between 1989 and 1993 when I welded during the day, then came home and practiced and taught martial arts all night.  My energy seemed to never end.

The confusing thing to me about this was that I was looking for one thing that I am supposed to be doing, but eventually I realized that there are several things that I am supposed to be doing, and they are all connected; all gifts from God.  I was designed to be a born-eunuch warrior, a blacksmith, and a teacher.  I am convinced about the warrior side because the martial arts have come so quickly and easily to me.  There is also metaphysical evidence as I have always felt it through to my bones.  The blacksmith was a different story.

My father talked me into being a welder in the Navy.  Many years later my sister started an interest in genealogy, and discovered that all of the Wussow men, dating back at least 8 generations were all blacksmiths and whitesmiths.  …interesting.  I am a natural at metal work too.  Between 1988 and 1993 there were only two known TIG welders in Kansas City that were qualified to weld Titanium:  Me and another man that worked for Bendix.  No one taught me either: I just started doing it.  I was also the first civilian welder to ever write a non-destructive testing procedure for aircraft grade II titanium through the American Welding Society.

The teaching thing was first discovered in boot camp (long story).  Suffice it to say that I knew then I was an effective teacher; even for a 17 year old.  I need to interject something here:  I am not stating these things to gain personal recognition or glory.  I got rid of that type of personal ego and pride long ago.  I am hoping that my story will demonstrate to that when we are working within our own personal truth, there is nothing we can’t do.  We excel, we stand out, we appear to be prodigy to others because they are still lost, and not doing what nature designed them to do; living in their personal truth.

So why was I a web developer?  I hated it nearly every day.  I was able to do it, and my work was adequate, but not as good as my peers.  I was not a natural at it, and I had to work harder than the next person just to keep up.  I believed I had to do it because of money so that we could survive in this new high-tech world.  Welding doesn’t pay much anymore, and neither does general teaching of self-defense instruction.

So there it is.  Now, who and what are you?

Once you know who and what you are, if you don’t already, you can begin to develop your training such that you receive a full and complete education.

Onegaishimasu!

Troy Sensei
Aikijudo-Jitsu Ryu
4/8/2010